Didn’t want to do this because of them toxic comments some of you make in the comment section but I think I need help.
Has anyone been a position where you make someone your first choice but you are never theirs? (in friendship, I mean)
So I have been kind of an outcast since primary (I am in level 300 now)…not the sociable type of person but I was open but not friendly (you could start a convo with me but I would never get out of my comfort zone to start one with you). I was the type who would die and no one would even know. My mom has always been pushing me to open up and make friends but I just can’t (even with my cousins, it’s the same). This happened all the way to SHS.
Fast forward to the university, I decided to start anew, start a whole new adventure where no one knows me (my school is not that big). Met these new roommates, approached for the first time in my life with a blubby nature. They all seemed cool (they are cool yeah) but then I managed to find myself out of ‘our’ circle. I started feeling lonely so I always make sure I go home where I feel happiest with my video games and peace of mind, the least chance I get. But anytime I come back, I feel I’m further drifting apart from them (I feel they don’t even care about me hmm). The few friends I had, I pushed them away because of trust issues (which I’ll talk about later). No friends, no boyfriend, my sisters don’t live with my parents and my parents hmmm
I don’t know why I’m posting this but the loneliness…I can’t take it anymore. And it’s depressing. Maybe I am meant to be a loner and die one.