Kissing is the most intimate act of affection a man can show. It invites a level of intimacy where vulnerability is felt but not always noticed or acknowledged.
I remember my first kiss. It was a few days before my 13th birthday. Her name was Natasha. She came to my house to wish me a Happy Birthday. After an awkward silence, she invited me to a movie. I don’t know what about Tash made me like her, or what about me made her show up at my house that morning. But, I kept thinking about our movie date.
When the day came, and we settled in to watch the movie, I offered Tash some popcorn. She quietly refused and kept her eyes forward. We both sat still side by side, never making eye contact. Just as the movie started, Tash grabbed my face and forced her tongue into my mouth. This being my first kiss, I didn’t know what to do. But because I liked her, I followed her lead. I wrapped my arm around her and she leaned into me. The kiss wasn’t as dreamy as it sounds because, after a few seconds, I tasted blood in my mouth. Our inexperience and her braces had to lead to her biting my tongue. I sprinted out of the theater in embarrassment. When I got in the bathroom and looked in the mirror, I could see a small slit on the tip of my tongue.
While my first kiss was embarrassing, I do remember it as the first time I’d felt vulnerable with a girl. I learned, even at that age, that kissing was about connection; building it, and reaffirming it. A tender kiss closes the distance and leaves no room for misunderstanding.
Kissing is a physical act of love that isn’t defined by performance. It is defined by risk.
Men, by and large, are taught to view sex as currency in dating and relationships. It’s one of the more damaging myths about masculinity; if you do this or say that, sex will happen. There are tutorials dedicated to teaching men how to be better in bed as if there’s a universal scale on which to measure sexual performance. What media doesn’t encourage is men placing a high value on the art of a great kiss.
There are different types of kisses that mean different things.
There’s the first kiss. This serves as a gesture of genuine interest. It’s the type of kiss that is playful, yet often scary. Boundaries aren’t always clear. So, the first kiss to learn where each other’s comfort zones begin and end. It’s the kiss that pulls a woman in, and makes her feel safe. Everything is familiar, but also new.
There’s the kiss of pure lust. This is the kiss that leads to making love. It may be forceful and vacillate between aggressive and teasing. It’s a kiss that heightens the senses. It’s the kiss seen in movies that leaves us with a sense of longing. Because we want that.
There is the I missed you kiss. This is perhaps the most important kiss a man will ever give a woman. Not all men vocalize their feelings. Some feelings can only be conveyed through physical touch. When a man kisses you because he missed you, it’s an embrace that will engulf your entire body. You can’t help but get lost in each other. In that kiss, there are a multitude of emotions, eagerness, hope, boldness, affirmation, trust, and confidence.
When a man kisses a woman, it can best be described as a crash. Two opposing energies coming together to ignite a spark. And, in that spark, a man reveals his truth about how he feels about a woman and her place in his life.